Man Receives Blink Camera, Ring Doorbell, Kindle As Gifts While Remaining The Only Person In America Without Amazon Prime

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA — In a stunning display of stubbornness, local man Kenneth Williams has continued his valiant protest against Amazon after receiving a Blink camera, a Ring Doorbell, and a Kindle, all while managing to be the only person in America without an Amazon Prime account.

Despite his entire family showering him with high-tech gadgets that require Prime membership for full functionality, Kenneth stands firm in his belief that Jeff Bezos's retail empire is an evil corporation bent on world domination—or at least on making him pay $12.99 a month.

Recently celebrating his 48th birthday (a milestone he had hoped would pass entirely unnoticed), Kenneth was surprised when his relatives decided to celebrate his resistance by gifting him a Kindle Fire and an Echo Dot—two devices designed explicitly to make ordering everything from toilet paper to tacos even easier. "Now you can just say it, and Alexa will do it for you!" his family chuckled, hoping to tempt him into the digital convenience that is Prime.

In true contrarian fashion, Williams shoved aside their taunts while glaring daggers at his brother Travis, who was thoroughly enjoying his new Blink camera. "I’m not falling for it!" Kenneth shouted, aware that his very own Ring doorbell gift from a cousin awaited him come Christmas.

At publishing time, Kenneth remained unmoved in his stance against Amazon Prime, despite mounting evidence that resisting its perks may actually be a more grueling task than binge-watching 'The Office' for the 17th time.