Man Lives In Emaciated Tiny House To Save Up Money For Emaciated Regular-Size House

ALBANY, OR — Local man Jerry Kharles resides in a cramped, impossibly small tiny house, all in the name of saving up money to build an even more emaciated regular-sized house that, by society's standards, might barely qualify as 'roomy.'

Kharles spends his days hunched over, constantly dodging the inadequately low ceilings, but he calls it all part of his ambitious plan. "It's a means to an end!" he explains, briefly considering the irony of being uncomfortable in pursuit of future comfort. "With the savings I'm racking up, I'm looking forward to a gloriously spacious 600 or 700 square feet of absolute mediocrity!"

When asked about his timeline for escaping the tiny house torment, Kharles responded with the confidence of a man who clearly hasn’t looked at a calendar in years. "I expect I’ll be swinging hammers and pouring concrete in about a decade or two," he asserted with palpable excitement. "This is just a temporary situation. Soon, I’ll be able to plop down huge swaths of Swiss coffee-colored carpet!"

Interestingly, Kharles also mentioned he hopes to design his new house tall enough to finally hang something on the walls that doesn't feature his parents' wedding photo or a skillet pan. Because, who doesn't want to elevate their décor game along with their living conditions?