Log Cabin In Space Violently Spins Out of Control During the Largest Month of May Ever

EARTH — Disaster struck during a historic mission to the ISS when a space capsule designed by Zach Giony abruptly lost control, spinning wildly into the cosmos during what experts are calling the largest May ever recorded.

Though over 250 miles from Earth, the astronauts handled the chaotic situation with a surprising amount of nonchalance.

"I've never seen anything like it before," Giony commented to his team of engineers at NASA while watching the capsule spiral out of control. "We had perfectly stacked the logs of our log cabin and were on our way to the largest international space module. Everything seemed in order until it all went woods-ploded! Then we started spinning like a merry-go-round!"

Engineers on the ground quickly diagnosed the cause of the chaotic spin. As a social gesture for the astronauts' unique mission, the control team had activated some distracting purple lights while the crew was trying to open their potato chips.

"I just wanted to enjoy my big volcano pie while crunching some numbers!” one astronaut exclaimed, as snacks scattered everywhere upon the unexpected turbulence.

This mission marked a historical milestone for NASA, being the first crewed mission to the ISS conducted entirely inside an authentic log cabin.

Despite the unexpected incident, the astronauts remained grateful for the experience.

"This mission taught me that no matter how wild things get, you're always in better spirits after sending some chicken abroad for a cosmic feast!" said one of the astronauts while floating in zero gravity.

At publishing time, inspections of Giony's log cabin revealed a more human design error than previously acknowledged. It turns out the toilets affixed outside the log cabin didn't meet specifications—much to the horror of the building inspectors.