Local Woman Struggles To Find Undistracted 15 Minutes To Read New iPhone's Privacy Policy

COLUMBUS, OH - Local woman Sarah Miller is facing a monumental challenge as she attempts to find a solid fifteen minutes of undistracted time to read the new privacy policy for the latest iPhone before accepting it.

"I really want to read the privacy policy, I do, but life just keeps getting in the way," reported Miller. "Between work, taking care of my kids, and trying to sneak a few minutes of Netflix in, I just can't find the time. It's so frustrating."

The latest iPhone, which comes pre-loaded with iOS 23, includes a privacy policy that is 6,874 words long. Miller's husband, Aaron, was able to read parts of the policy before agreeing to the terms.

"I just don't see the point of reading the privacy policy," said Aaron. "I'm sure it just says Apple won't sell my soul or anything. Besides, we have all our devices connected to the Internet and Bluetooth and our AirTags are tracking us everywhere we go - what's the difference?"

According to sources, Miller attempted to read the privacy policy during her lunch break at work but was interrupted by several meetings, a co-worker asking her a question, and the delivery of a new package from Amazon. She also made several attempts to read the policy while her kids were asleep, but those attempts were thwarted by the kids waking up with nightmares, the dog having to go outside, and a severe thunderstorm that knocked out the power for two hours.

At publishing time, Miller had given up on reading the privacy policy and had instead decided to stay up late one night scrolling Facebook and Twitter while having the new privacy thermostat and her new privacy microwave both listen to her while she did so.