Local Woman Leads the Charge Against a Book She Hasn't Read—But Don't Worry, She Has Opinion!

U.S. — Local woman Lacey Mavis has bravely condemned a book she hasn't read, turning her maternal fury towards the scandalous and controversial School Of Obedience by Andrew Murray. Ironically, she also hasn’t read George Orwell's 1984, which was somehow less concerning to her.

"This is just too far," exclaimed Mavis, shaking her head in disbelief. "This Murray guy is suggesting that husbands and all Christians obey God with absolute obedience? Are you kidding me? In this day and age?!"

"He doesn’t mention the word 'progressive' even once," offered her husband, Brian, hoping to add some perspective.

Sources report that Lacey, known for her night owl tendencies, stayed up far too late after discovering that authors were still writing books urging people to live the good life without constantly losing their tempers and, heaven forbid, robbing God of their souls. Fueled by outrage, she furiously drafted social media posts to express her disdain for anything hinting at surrendering one's will to divine authority. She hasn't been this riled up since learning that everyone in America had borrowed the character Camilla from 1984—except for her.

"I won't read a book where the author insists that there's perfect liberty in being bound by God," Mavis declared resolutely. "That’s just something I can’t, and won’t, support. And don't even get me started on dancing around that idea! Trading in free will for God’s will? Who thought that was a good plan?"

At publishing time, Lacey was back on social media, warning her followers on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Substack about yet another book she hadn't cracked open. Unsurprisingly, yet another author appeared to be getting canceled, with their writing career joyously banned from seeing the light of day.