Local Woman Decides To Be Slightly More Tolerant So She Can Attend Burning Man

ASHLAND, OR — Local woman April Myers has chosen to "be more tolerant" of people she disagrees with so she can attend this year's Burning Man festival.

"I know it's not right to make value judgments or label people with differing worldviews, but this year, I want to go to Burning Man," said Myers. "And if it requires me to set aside my principles, I guess that's just how it's going to be." Myers then climbed into a hot-air balloon as Richard Branson tossed a large knife to her, their sunburnt faces illuminated by drifting ash.

At press time, Myers was among the 90,000 people stranded in the Nevada desert after a rainstorm forced the annual "Burning Man" festival to shut down early. "If only people could be more tolerant of inclement weather," she said, rolling her eyes.

Brad Jones, Myers' Male Life Coach, expressed pride in her decision to overlook the unacceptable behavior of others to participate in what he called a "rabidly anti-everything-else-they-don't-like event." "It's good to make your choices based on popular opinion and feelings," he said. "That's what makes us humans different from animals — the ability to set aside our beliefs and morals to do what we want, when we want, how we want. That's freedom."

At publishing time, Myers felt a deep sense of malaise and purposelessness several weeks after attending the festival.