Local Man Orders Solar Generator To Brag About It Until His Dying Day

LOS ANGELES, CA — Local man Mike Redmond is over the moon about his new solar generator and is convinced he will brag about it every chance he gets until his dying day.

During a family dinner, Redmond's brother-in-law casually mentioned the latest news about solar panels. That was all the encouragement Redmond needed to launch into his prepared spiel.

"Well, have I got great news for you!" Redmond exclaimed. "I just scored a 268-watt solar-powered supply station with a fold-out panel from Amazon Prime Day deals after conducting exhaustive minutes of research!"

He proudly displayed pictures of his generator and solar panels on his phone, scrolling through images with the reverence usually reserved for family vacations. His relatives were struck by how one man could possess both this level of enthusiasm and minimal social awareness, making them feel fortunate just to know him.

"278 watts, you say? Fascinating!" one server chimed in, feigning genuine interest. "I’d love to learn more about solar-powered supply stations!"

"Oh, it gets better!" Redmond beamed. "I can run Christmas tree lights and a lamp simultaneously, all while charging my phone! Did I mention how life-changing this is? I got it right after our cul-de-sac suffered a 36-hour brownout. Who's laughing now, huh?"

At publishing time, Redmond excitedly shared with a coworker that he could actually run his Keurig coffee maker for a full 20 minutes using his solar generator, as long as he didn't need to drink actual coffee during that time.