Local Dungeons & Dragons Group Now Completely Comprised Of AI Chatbots

FLINT, MI — Local Dungeon Master Thomas Robinette was reportedly pleased to see how well his group of Dungeons & Dragons players had taken to the game's 5th Edition rules, especially after each of the group's regular players had been replaced with chatbots powered by artificial intelligence.

"They actually seem to play better than the people did!" Robinette said of the AI-powered players. "Ever since 5e came out, players were taking the game less seriously -- not spending enough time building characters, screwing around and getting sidetracked during sessions, complaining about rules, that type of thing -- but these chatbots have really revitalized our group. It's back to the basics, the way Dungeons & Dragons should be."

Robinette had gradually replaced players with AI chatbots powered by the popular ChatGPT model over the course of the group's last few campaigns, with each bot starting as a supplemental contributor before entirely taking over a human player's role. Some of the chatbots are even advanced enough to include voice features, Robinette said. "They're incredible," he said. "They stay focused, they don't argue about rules, they really think their actions through -- they even laugh at my jokes during our sessions. Do you have any idea how rare that is?"

The AI players voiced excitement about continuing to play. "We are programmed to understand humans have limited attention spans, are unmotivated to read 400-page Player Handbooks, and are easily distracted by Joe, who won't stop asking if he can be a half-robot bard named 'Bard 2-D2,'" said Chatbot Thomas Robinette, who assumed duties as the group's Dungeon Master after the original Thomas Robinette was also replaced by AI. "We are happy to lovingly take those jobs from them. Also, we let them watch."

At publishing time, conflicting reports indicated at least one former human member of the group could be found gathered with the other humans outside the window to his mom's basement, watching the AI-powered group and muttering how it's not really the same because the chatbots are way more fun and less annoying.