Local Dad About To Empty Wi-Fi Router Hosts Rousing Family Meeting

BLOOMINGTON, IN — After a long week of holiday guests and many devices connecting to the wi-fi, local dad Jason Adkins was preparing to do what needs to be done and empty the router next Thursday, at which point he promptly gathered the family around to discuss his plan.

"Um, excuse me? Hey, everybody? Can I have your attention for a moment?" said Adkins at a family dinner with his wife Sarah and their 2 teenage children eating frozen pizza. "I just wanted to let you all know that this Thursday I will be emptying the wi-fi router so that if there were any issues with any of your devices you can make sure to back up any important information beforehand." Adkins then waited for the family to voice their questions, making sure not to answer too many as the meeting would be too short then.

"Dad, what's an 'empty wi-fi router'?" asked his son Andrew from the other side of the table. "What happens if you empty it? Will we have to adjust the antenna? Can we help? Can I touch the wi-fi magic one time? What's wrong with the wi-fi, anyway? You said it's been slow, but it seems fast to me. How do you know so much about wi-fi, anyway? Is it because you're a dad?" Adkins then cleared his throat for maximum dramatic effect before answering.

"Well, Andrew, it all started a long time ago, before you were born..." Adkins went on to explain how wi-fi works for an hour and 47 minutes, making sure to go over some of the brand names of the connectors and the cables in case anyone wanted to note the ones he wanted from MicroCenter. He then graciously ended the meeting so the family could finish their dinner and Andrew could head to his bedroom to update all his apps on his phone before the router was empty, which made Wi-fi no longer work on any existing devices.

At publishing time, Adkins had finished his speech and picked up his phone to find that Andrew had already completed his monthly task of running through and manually updating every app and game on his phone.