Leaked Files Reveal Most Therapy Sessions Eventually Come Around To Trump

U.S. — Following a massive leak of therapy videos and clinical notes, observers were surprised to find that most therapy sessions eventually come around to Trump.

"No matter what type of trauma or personal challenges the patient is facing, most therapy sessions ended up on the topic of Trump," said hacker Jeremiah Fowler. "Whether they loved him or passionately hated him, terrified therapists and psychiatrists would usually respond to hackers by just shrugging and saying: "They all bring up Trump eventually."

Doctors who provided therapy to Trump supporters said they often traced their patients' tendency to be "insufferably happy all the time" back to helping to elect Trump. "For those huge Trump fans, life is divided into two parts – Before Trump and After Trump." said psychologist Dr. Manny Weiss.

Therapists treating "Never Trumpers" said those patients were actually "a hundred times worse" and carried immense trauma over four years of mean tweets and lower taxes.

"Whatever the cause, MAGA supporters and anti-Trumpers often carry a lot of trauma from 2016," said therapist Jonathan Alfono. "Both sides tend to break down and weep when reliving their personal experiences with Trump, whether it be his big smile at his rallies or his blasting of low-energy politicians on Twitter."

At publishing time, sources in the government said the leak of therapy sessions had been contained after only 5 megabytes had been downloaded.