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Joni Mitchell Annoyed Entire Award Show Not Just Named After Her

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Singer, musician, and painter Joni Mitchell stopped just short of rolling her eyes as she tuned in to watch the 45th Annual Grammy Awards, multiple sources close to the legendary artist confirmed.

"Unbelievable," muttered Mitchell to nobody in particular as she was not-so-quietly announced as the winner of the top honor of the night, Album of the Year, for her newest release, "Doormat," witnesses confirmed. "If it's the Joni Mitchell Awards [sic], that's one thing. But calling it the 'Grammys?' Please. I revolutionize popular music and this is the thanks I get?"

Mitchell is no stranger to receiving accolades for her storied career, having taken home no fewer than 4,000 major awards over her five-decade run. She has also been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and the World Golf Hall of Fame (as a contributor) although that induction was later revoked when it was confirmed she had never actually picked up a golf club or even expressed any interest in the game.

"They always get a bit huffy when she points out how ridiculous it is not to have renamed the award after her by now," said long-time friend Hasnat Mehta. "The Oscars, the Tonys, the Jonis, the Golden Jons — those make sense. But to go with some generic name like 'Grammy' that does not explicitly honor the woman who redefined what a singer-songwriter could be? She has a point."

At publishing time, Mitchell had announced plans to attend the next Academy Awards only if the statue given to the Best Picture winner is a little bronze woman with a guitar.

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