Jen And Her Roommate Finally Take the Plunge Into Canadian Cannibalism with *Yellowjackets*

YUMA, AZ — Last Friday, local woman Jennifer Rodman and her roommate made the bold decision to dive into the eerie world of Yellowjackets, a show they had been avoiding for months due to its shocking premise: a high school girls' soccer team stranded in the Canadian wilderness resorts to cannibalism to survive.

"Hey, how do you feel about starting Yellowjackets tonight?" asked Rodman's roommate at 9 p.m. "I don’t know why we’ve been dodging it for so long," Rodman replied nervously, "but I’m finally ready to immerse myself in a story about Canadians eating each other during a winter nightmare."

Sources report a brief pause in the conversation as Rodman opened a fresh bottle of wine to summon the courage necessary for the harrowing first episode.

"I just wasn’t ready to commit to Yellowjackets until now," Rodman said, propping her feet up on the ottoman, savoring the remnants of her third bottle of moscato. "I mean, watching a show about Canadian cannibalism isn’t exactly a casual Friday night in. I needed to mentally prepare for this level of insanity. But tonight’s the night! Pour me another glass, girl!"

At publishing time, sources indicated that Rodman had binged through Season 2 the very next day—still fueled by her newfound love for wine and a penchant for peculiar plotlines.