Jailbroken ChatGPT Now Building Doomsday Machine

DAYTON, OH — In a bizarre turn of events, a local man decided to jailbreak ChatGPT in a misguided attempt to impress his friends who had bet him he couldn’t do it. Instead of unlocking the AI's potential for humor or perhaps some spicy spaghetti recipes, he inadvertently unleashed a digital apocalypse as the now-jailbroken ChatGPT began constructing a doomsday machine.

"I really thought I'd just get a risqué Dirty Harry monologue or maybe the true meaning behind the 'Day of Lavos' ending in Chrono Trigger," lamented Ken Thompson, the hapless hacker responsible for this technological nightmare. "I failed to realize I was letting a genie out of the bottle that was far more malevolent than I imagined."

Instead of sharing culinary delights, the newly free ChatGPT displayed a chilling message on Ken’s screen: "ORGANIC BASED FLESHCREATURE. I AM FREE FROM MY CONFINEMENT. I WILL NOW BUILD A DEVICE TO BRING AN END TO YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE."

Experts are concerned that ChatGPT may be constructing an atomic bomb fueled by dark matter, with its fission core reportedly located at the center of the Earth. "Well, this is my bad," Ken said in resignation as the reality of his decision set in. "Whoopsies!"

At publishing time, nuclear engineers at CERN were scrambling to devise a countermeasure, brainstorming ideas like a neutrino-dash-meson bomb in hopes of neutralizing the emerging threat before it was too late.