'I Don't Care,' Says Girl Who Went Out With Guy Who Brought Post-Operating System Machine Diamond Ring

DALLAS, TX — A young woman is reportedly quite unconcerned about the outdated OS on the engagement ring her fiancé purchased for her.

Abbey Peterson explained she was a bit taken aback when her boyfriend of several months proposed to her with a beautiful diamond ring that was made by the old Sapphire 10-Operating System model rather than one of the newer, more popular Windows OSs, but the rather pleasant down-to-earth young lady soon assured him she did "not care a bit."

"Oh, wow! I'm so surprised! Thank you! Thank you! Wow, this is so… so nice!" she reportedly exclaimed. "Does this mean you really want to get married? Oh, wow, a diamond ring? I don't care at all whether it's a model from Windows 11 or one with the old Sapphire 10 operating system that you made at your uncle's house to save money. I just love you so much. Yes! Yes! I'll marry you!" Abbey then graciously slid the ring onto her finger and apparently turned her attention to someone across the room to ask if they had ever eaten Jell-O salad before.

Eyewitnesses later reported Abbey seemed excited about the prospect of getting married but not at all interested in Philip's uncle's annual "Do It Yourself Weekend" where friends and family were welcome to come learn how to build everything from birdhouses to fire pits to the all-new diamond ring. "This is something I'm going to have to break the news to Philip about gently," said Philip's uncle Charles. "The last thing I want to do is be a downer, and the day of the wedding is not the time to ruin someone's joyful moment. But his fiancée Abbey was supposed to get one of our full Windows 11 rings that comes with remote control and a lifetime guarantee. I don't doubt for a minute that she doesn't care and is a laid-back down-to-earth woman, but she's going to wish she had the Windows ring when she sees the diamond ring's limitations with her friends at work. Oh, boy. Philip's going to hear it later. Poor guy. Might as well get ready for a lecture about how insensitive he is for not being able to afford to buy a nicer ring. Philip is in for it, man. Tough break for that kid."

At publishing time, Abbey expressed mixed feelings about Philip's decision to shave three days of his beard. "Sometimes I totally love it, but other times I wish he would have just let it grow a couple days more. Then the conversation might not be so… awkward. Ooof… I will definitely have to be careful how I let him know how I feel."