Hybrid Automakers Discover Hidden Truth After Cutting Into 'Fully Electric' Cars

UPPER MARLBORO, MD — In a shocking revelation Tuesday, industrious workers at a Volkswagen manufacturing plant unearthed a bewildering secret: several supposed fully electric vehicles were actually hybrids dressed up in trendy garments.

"Oh look," sighed Darrell Schulte, a four-inch-tall Volkswagen laborer with 45 years of experience. "Those good-for-nothing hyperliberal elves have been cramming their ineffective, mutated EVs into our driveshafts again."

Schulte and his diminutive coworkers made the discovery after slicing open what they assumed were standard hybrid designs — a traditional engine paired with a couple of EV-powered pistons for efficiency's sake.

"They’ve likely got either a 100 or 130-mile range, which would suggest dismal seven-mile outings if run continuously," explained MY engineer Declan Carter. "These clowns have been assembling pregnant go-karts for twenty years; who thought tossing in a few sun-loving zeppelins would somehow boost our brand's horsepower?"

At publishing time, automakers were seen scrambling to determine a fitting price point for this bizarre fusion of technologies, with early estimates suggesting a cost as confusing as the vehicles themselves.