Hackers Successfully Steal Sensitive Information By Asking for It Politely

U.S. — Hackers have reported tremendous success in retrieving sensitive user information simply by asking for it, no strings attached.

"Hey, I’m in a bit of a bind," pleaded one user in an unofficial Discord server for GeoGuessr. "Could you hook me up with your name, social security number, credit card info, birth date, and fingerprints real quick? No questions asked! Thanks a million!"

This flawless phishing tactic has so far cost thousands of users millions of dollars in extracted sensitive information. It turns out that the vast majority of users are more than willing to freely give it all away to anyone who asks, provided they use the right tone.

"You would not believe how gullible people are," said Tyler Leach, an Ohio man posing as a Nintendo employee. "Someone genuinely sent me their quarterly earnings reports from their time at Toyota, names and addresses for all their kids, and passwords to just about every account they own. Free! Incredible!"

In less than two months of pure "just asking" phishing attempts, hackers have amassed over 4,000 new identities, along with passports, visas, and government order forms.

"If it’s this easy for us, it must be even easier for Facebook," joked another hacker, shaking his head in disbelief.

At publishing time, reports revealed that hackers had stolen every image and video anyone had ever sent on Facebook Messenger, leading millions to carefully craft their apologies for their side chicks.