Guy With Three Hands Loved Playing Games In The 90s

EASTON TOWNSHIP, MI — While an entire generation of gamers laments the struggle of playing video games on the N64, local resident Rodrigo Tomlinson looks back on that iconic era with nothing but nostalgia. With a carefree flick of his third hand, Tomlinson shares fond memories of a time when he truly thrived as a gamer.

"I tell ya, having a third hand was the secret weapon in the 90s!" he exclaimed. "I could pistol-whip someone in GoldenEye and still hit all the buttons necessary to peek and shoot at the same time! You’d think I was some kind of glitch in the game – no telling how many hours I spent in front of a gritty CRT just zipping through levels like I was a walking cheat code!"

Tomlinson reminisced about marathon gaming sessions with kids who had just two hands. "There was this unspoken rule to not make a big deal about my hand coming out of my chest," he said with a chuckle. "One time, I even played against a friend who had an extra foot; not gonna lie, that was one game where I might've had a real disadvantage on the track!"

Local resident Ronald Suane, who logged countless hours gaming with Tomlinson, spoke of the unique comfort found in navigating the gaming landscape under Tomlinson's skilled leadership. "Sure, we made fun of him a little, and it looked surreal, but his gameplay? It was genius! No matter what game we threw at him, he never lost. It didn’t matter how much I practiced – he always had an edge!"

As of publishing time, Tomlinson was hard at work on a screenplay about an alternate universe where people with three hands are celebrated rather than stared at. "I’m just trying to give folks a taste of what it’s like to be truly extraordinary!" he added with a grin.