Guy Who Still Trusts The CDC Excited For Next CDC Recommendation

Fernando Verando, a man with an unwavering faith in the CDC, is beyond excited for their next life-altering recommendation. Despite every single vaccine aimed at stopping the pandemic failing spectacularly, he remains optimistic.

"I'm just so pumped! I've marked my calendar for April 2025, when I expect the CDC will finally reveal their next genius plan to save us from the disaster that's ruined so many lives over the past five years!" Fernando beamed from his chair in the doctor’s waiting room. "Can you imagine how great it'll feel to be handed a detailed list from a government agency about what I need to do next? Making my own decisions is just way too hard."

Fernando is already plotting his schedule for that fateful week in April. "I'm guessing their next suggestion will be to either relocate to Papua New Guinea or Google how to give myself three to six shots in one day to prevent or cure long-haul COVID. Honestly, I've been browsing some pretty questionable websites looking for solutions, but it’s just too much pressure to make these giant decisions on my own. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen with more shots? I just want some closure! I need the CDC to tell me what to do. It'll be so liberating!"

At publishing time, Fernando stated he was fervently hoping that the nation can steer clear of civil war and chaos until the CDC can provide the critical guidance everyone desperately needs to heal.