Guy Shopping For New Car Has No Idea What Car Actually Costs At Apple Store

BEAVERTON, OR — Local shopper Sam Armony was looking to scope out some cool new Tesla alternatives, so he decided to visit the Apple Store at Washington Square Mall for a look at Apple's hip new 2024 offering: the Apple Car. Unfortunately, Sam was unable to determine the car's actual price at the Apple Store.

"Hey, can you tell me how much this sweet new ride will set me back?" Sam asked the closest Apple employee, who answered by pulling out an iPad and recommending purchasing a leather 64-ounce Big Gulp holder, heated seats with 256-color RGB ambiance, as well as a wireless in-board unit stability test solution and 3.1ghz Sasquatch processor.

According to sources, the final number displayed on the screen was 7500 down or 599 per month for 180 months. Sam then asked if those numbers were for the loaded premium edition, but the employee said, "Did you want the lightning charger option in the glove box, or just USB-C?"

Witnesses at the scene claim the incredibly vague Apple employee didn't explain what was happening and instead launched into an incoherent speech about how the Apple Car is also encrypted and constantly communicates with Apple's awesome exponentially growing ecosystem, and that Sam should sign up for iJiffylube Plus for 'round-the-clock 24/7 oil change assurance.

At publishing time, Sam hopped into a Tesla crash test dummy simulator and asked the driver's Tesla if he could leave work early Friday and take a long weekend, but the Tesla told him, "In this economy?"