Google Unveils Revolutionary Device to Track Employee Leave: Introducing the Timey-Timey!

CALIFORNIA - In a desperate bid to monitor employee leave durations, Google has unveiled a groundbreaking device known as the Timey-Timey.

"We’re incredibly proud of our innovative Timey-Timey," exclaimed CEO Sundar Pichai. "For years, we’ve desired a tool to track various forms of leave, from short-term disability to bereavement. Now, Google employees will receive alerts on their devices when it’s time to return to the office!"

According to insiders, Google's design team initially toyed with the whimsical name 'The Ticky-Tock' before ultimately settling on the practical moniker 'The Google Watch.' This new device reportedly boasts two separate dials: one for the time of day and another indicating the number of days elapsed since an employee last graced the office. "It’s truly an ingenious invention!" Pichai added. "You can always track how much time has lapsed since your last clock-out!"

Sources reveal that the first Google Watch was presented to the Google HR Director, Curtis Flywheel, who was elated to finally quantify just how long his family vacation had been. "I’ve calculated that it’s been six days of swimming and eight hours of sleeping each night," Mr. Flywheel stated with glee. "It’s incredible how many metrics this little gadget keeps tabs on!"

At press time, Google was reportedly exploring a feature to monitor how many minutes had passed since an employee's last meal.