Free Kindle Vella Gives Writers Tiny Hopes That One Day They MIGHT Get Paid a Dime From Amazon

SEATTLE, WA — Thousands of writers around the world cling to the slim hope of getting their work seen by millions and maybe, just maybe, earning a few meager cents from Amazon. This comes as the world's largest online retailer unveils its promotional writing platform, Kindle Vella, which allows authors to share their stories in a format they mastered in college — the unpublishable "serial." However, optimism has quickly faded as writers realize just how difficult it will be to find readers in this literary desert.

"I hadn't been this excited since my mom bought me tater tots at the Co-Op for lunch at Community College," said Howard Lerriggan, a struggling author with dreams larger than his bank account. "There’s nothing quite as thrilling as writing a book and then chopping it into tiny bite-sized chunks for my readers — for free! I was thrilled to finally embark on another revenue stream of non-payment for my writing. Thanks, Amazon!"

Other authors expressed their mixed feelings about Kindle Vella's encouragement to minimize their work into smaller pieces. “When readers can have their stories served up in inconvenient bite-sized portions, it's only a small step to losing all interest in the story altogether,” said BeBe Juderwiggle, the mastermind behind Kindle Vella, who ironically also suffers as an author due to the Kindle Fire tablet. "So much exposure!" she added, while drowning in a sea of unfinished drafts.