First Female Lead In Legend Of Zelda Series Simply Has To Save Male Lead Over And Over Again

KIOTO — Video game company Nintendo has released a Legend of Zelda series entry starring the character Zelda in the leading role, forcing players to save longtime series protagonist, Link, over and over and over again.

"I know we're breaking new ground here, but is this what it's like to be a guy? It sucks," groaned Zelda player and Nintendo game developer Eiji Aonuma between sips of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. "A guy has to do this every day?"

Nintendo programmer and fellow Zelda player who had never played any other non-Zelda video games, Kazuya Shimizu, was also taken aback by the sheer volume of saving one's "partner" required in The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom.

"Seriously? First, I have to save him after he journeys into the unknown and gets caught in a dungeon trap? Then, right after that, he loses all his weapons and I have to save him again? Then he triggers a world-ending cataclysm and I'm supposed to save him again? C'mon, man!"

Non-Nintendo game players also found it odd that anyone over the age of 16 would need saving at all.

At publishing time, Eiji retracted his earlier statements after getting to a puzzle in Echoes of Wisdom that offered the simple ability to mark Link's map with important locations.