Finnair Weighing Passengers Before Flight, Airline Shocked Volunteers Are Overweight

HELSINKI - Finnair is weighing passengers before each flight for its winter travel season, and the airline was reportedly "shocked" to discover that many volunteers are significantly overweight.

"We did not expect, how do you say, so many fat people," said Finnair spokesperson Päivyt Tallqvist.

Finnair announced the initiative to collect updated data on passenger and carry-on luggage combined weight for safety and fuel consumption reasons for flights departing from its Helsinki hub. Airline executives said that it was crucial new measurements come from a representative slice of European travelers, particularly those with terrible eating habits, a lack of exercise and a genetic propensity to pack on the pounds.

"Eight hundred fifty lovely volunteers have participated in our study, and 94% of them mysteriously tip the scales at more than 210 pounds," Tallqvist said. "Also, these 850 people must have all been smoking and not eating fruits or vegetables because that's the only explanation for the weight being distributed entirely in the belly and man-boob areas."

At publishing time, Finnair officials admitted they may have to expand the study to an additional 3,000 volunteers in order to find just 150 who are within a healthy, normal weight range.