FBI Investigating Mattress Industry For Price Fixing After Every Mattress Goes On Sale For $300 Off Every Holiday

MORAVIA, IA — FBI Director Christopher Wray has announced he is launching a full investigation into the mattress industry for possible price fixing after the price of every mattress seems to be reduced by exactly $300 on literally every holiday.

"It's extremely suspicious," Wray said to a group of reporters Thursday. "It's uncanny how mattresses go on sale for exactly $300 on every holiday — Labor Day, Fourth of July, National Cheese Pizza Day — you name it. It has to be a coordinated effort by the industry to defraud the American people of their hard-earned money."

Exhaustive investigations will include interviews, analysis of price data over time, and a full audit of every mattress company, sources say.

Public support for the FBI's investigation is running high. "I never thought of it," said local farmer Jon Osborne, "But literally every holiday there are sales of exactly $300 off the normal price. It's either a price-fixing scheme or some kind of witchcraft. I'm glad the FBI is getting to the bottom of it."

Members of the mattress industry, however, claim they are being unfairly targeted. "We're completely innocent," said The Mattress Guy down at The Mattress Place. "We also have blowout $300 mattress sales every weekend. So, not just on holidays."

At publishing time, the FBI had decided to hold off on the investigation for now after learning mattresses could be marked down $500 for National Be Late for Something Day on September 5th.