Father Asks Son How He'd Like To Be Funded Up To and Including His Death

FRISCO, TX — Sitting next to his couch-potato son Ashton, local father Rick Sharp popped the question that every teenager dreams of: how would you like to be funded up to and including your inevitable death?

"What sort of stuff do you want me to buy you over the next 80 years?" Mr. Sharp asked casually, straightening a legal pad in his lap. "I can either give you everything now, wait until you graduate college, or dish it out bit by bit. Or, I could just drop all the cash on your deathbed — what do ya want, man? Money? Property? That 2023 Dodge Grand Caravan you've had your eye on? Am I your sole funding source, or will you be raking in more cash through TikTok dances and YouTube unboxings? Help me out, buddy, ‘cause I can't fund you into the grave unless we’re on the same page. Either way, my money's got your name on it straight through retirement."

The teenager was reportedly too busy scrolling through his phone to provide a coherent comment about the details of what could amount to several million dollars heading his way, which, by any measure, was pretty awesome.

Mr. Sharp, noting he has about $50,000 to hold Ashton over until high school graduation, confirmed he’ll be asking that question every few months until he gets a straight answer.

At publishing time, the Circle of Deputy Rectitude for Science/Tech at local corporation Apple Computer Inc. announced they had hired Ashton Sharp full-time, presumably to manage his impending fortune.