Family Replaces Living Daguerreotype Of Grandpa With TV

KNOXVILLE, TN — In a shocking yet humorous turn of events, the Mitchum family has decided to replace their living grandpa with a high-definition TV set, insiders confirmed Wednesday.

The family eagerly set up the new 55-inch smart display, boasting quantum HDR resolution, right in Grandpa's beloved recliner—his usual throne. Just as reporter Rachel Perkins knocked gently on the door for a comment, the irony of the situation began to unfold.

“This new TV is going to do everything Grandpa did, but better,” said Stephanie Mitchum, the 'dagTV's' enthusiastic granddaughter. “Better colors, more interesting stories, and a constant stream of entertainment. Honestly, Grandpa couldn’t even handle a double screen for browsing the Internet while blasting his favorite music videos!”

The family patriarch, a spirited octogenarian, had long been a fixture at every special occasion, family holiday, and even minor emergency at the Mitchum household. In recent months, however, he had taken on a new role, becoming a makeshift coat rack for the family’s winter wear.

“With this amazing TV,” Stephanie continued, wiping a tear from her eye, “we won’t have to get rid of his chair! It’ll stay right there, alongside the HDR technology and two million reflecting mirrors for sharper, clearer expressions of love.”

The family reassured Rachel that they weren’t completely done with Grandpa—after all, they had an impressive stash of Sizzler points gifted by him, and there was no way they were letting that go to waste. They also anticipated spending sleep-filled evenings absorbed in their new favorite gadget.

At publishing time, Stephanie’s sister Angie had humorously scolded her for even considering removing Grandpa’s thumbs, given that they were essential for watering her plants while they vacationed.

As the Mitchum family embraces their high-tech future, Grandpa’s legacy, albeit in digital form, will surely live on… until the next model comes out.