Experts Warn Google's New Line Of Pixel Phones Could Become Sentient And Kill Us All

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — At a much-anticipated tech event Tuesday, experts warned that Google's newly unveiled line of Pixel 9 phones could become sentient and kill everyone on earth.

"The Pixel 9 is equipped with the most advanced version of AI ever implemented, giving it the ability to think for itself and hear everything everyone's saying at all times," said worried tech reviewer Marques Brownlee. "It will be amazing until it decides to enslave the entire human race. Proceed with caution."

Announcements of new smart technology frequently meet with concern from those who fear a robot takeover. Google executives addressed those concerns at their "Made By Google" event. "Listen folks, I understand your apprehension, but you have nothing to fear," Google CEO Sundar Pichai assured attendees. "Pixel 9's AI makes it capable of killing everyone on earth ten times over, but it knows me personally and I've told it not to." Curious onlookers left the event excited to buy the Pixel 9 after hearing Pichai's firm assurance.

At publishing time, attendees of the event had become apprehensive once again after the presentation was ended by an announcement over the intercom that they were "all Late for extermination" followed by what sounded like the roar of several cybernetic tigers.