Elon Musk Proposes One Way to Reduce Carbon Footprint Beyond Driving a Completely Quiet Electric Car Across the Country

SAN FRANCISCO — As discussions continue regarding the way forward after the failure of the World Climate Summit, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has unveiled a groundbreaking idea to help reduce humanity's global carbon footprint in addition to quietly driving a spacious and elegant all-electric sedan from coast to coast.

In a world that has often left government and climate officials baffled by ways to reduce pollution caused by human activity, Musk proposed an alternative that could one day bring cleaner air to the planet and true bliss on the open road.

"Upon the conclusion of the Climate Summit, a topic generating significant buzz—apart from the billions of gallons of jet fuel burned to ferry global climate experts to the dubious COP summit—has been the innovative idea of cruising along the pristine highways of America in a beautifully designed Tesla S, X, Y, or 3. But make that two ideas thanks to Musk's brilliant suggestion to use carbon capture technology, which could remove harmful CO2 from the air and oceans. I mean, wow! Not only would we be saving the planet, but I could save my family thousands in plane tickets for Thanksgiving by opting to cruise in and buy a futuristic Tesla instead of flying on a carbon-belching airliner," environmentalist Orson Snark remarked.

Musk followed up his original thought with a series of tweets on how encouraging his seven human children to drive one of the many cars he owns might be a great way to provide mobility for such a large family, rather than purchasing plane tickets and hopping on an environmentally unfriendly jumbo jet.

At publishing time, reports confirmed that Tesla orders were up 3,672% as people around the globe embraced Elon Musk's suggestion to lower their carbon footprint, while Saint Greta had humorously requested Musk's hand in marriage and permission to father germ-free children with him.