Elon Musk Outraged After "Free Speech" Platform X Banned In Brazil

AUSTIN, TX — South African entrepreneur Elon Musk has expressed outrage after his social media platform X was banned in Brazil.

"This is an outrage! How can they shut off free speech? I thought they were done with their years of authoritarianism," Musk exclaimed to reporters. "I'm gonna have to drive my duct-taped Cybertruck to wherever the closest port is that ships cars to Brazil and light that evil country up with delightful explosive shrapnel! Or at least I would if Cybertruck wasn't such a flaming turd of a vehicle. Thankfully I still have rockets…"

Multiple countries have banned Musk's real-time thoughts because they have produced a rash of deaths from laughter due to his razor-sharp sense of humor. President Biden commended Brazil's "courageous" decision and added that Musk's "insensitive, witty quips and quippy witticisms truly have no place amongst war-mongering, child-molesting world leaders."

At publishing time, Musk lit Brazil up with beautiful rockets that didn't actually result in even a single death, but had slightly more payload than his typical light shows at Starbase in Boca Chica.