Elon Musk Launches Company Focused on Offering Fewer Features at a Higher Price

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — After a brief public hiatus, Elon Musk is back in the spotlight with the launch of his new company, "Less X." The venture promises to provide users with fewer features at a premium price, a concept Musk describes as a "very competitive but exceedingly profitable" approach to business.

In a cheeky press release, Musk articulated his unique vision, stating, "Doing something radical, like providing more value at a lower cost, just isn't my style. With Less X, customers will happily fork over more of their hard-earned cash for fewer services. We have assembled a dedicated team of financial wizards and tech magicians in our South African office who are committed to ensuring that our service not only degrades over time but does so while we continually raise prices. I'm not the first one to try this, but we aim to be the best at it!"

Musk confirmed that, at least for the time being, Less X would be subscription-based. However, users of Twitter can expect a surprise transition, as the platform plans to start integrating Less X features into their existing apps in early November—without notifying users. To kick off profits, Twitter users will be magically enrolled in a special one-year trial of Less X, where they’ll enjoy 10% fewer services at a charming 16% higher price.

"Less X is set to redefine the mantra of customer service," Musk declared in the press release, "because, as any savvy corporate parasite knows, customer satisfaction pales in comparison to customer profitability."

At publishing time, Musk was reportedly brainstorming his next venture, "Fewer Cities X," which aims to eliminate every other Starbucks in urban areas—because why settle for mediocre coffee when you can have none at all?