Elon Musk Forces X Subscribers to Buy His $10,000 Truck: A Generous Offer or a Hostage Situation?

WORLD — In a shocking but savvy business maneuver, Elon Musk has decided that anyone who has paid the new $8 subscription fee for X must also purchase his latest $10,000 truck.

"We were brainstorming ways to boost our quarterly truck sales, and this idea hit us like a lightning bolt — it's a win-win!" Musk proclaimed, his eyes gleaming with the excitement of a kid who just discovered candy. "Plus, I'm practically giving you a steal by slashing $90,000 off the usual price tag! They told me I was crazy, but generosity is my middle name. Well, maybe it’s actually ‘bipolar,’ but let’s not get into that!"

When pressed about how the company plans to enforce this bold new subscription rule, Musk shrugged nonchalantly. "Terms? What terms? We have all your credit card info! We'll just charge you in a few days and voila—congrats, you’re now the proud owner of a $10,000 truck!"

He continued with a sense of mischief, "Of course, you could try canceling your card to block the charge, but good luck with that! Imagine the court case when we sue you for not complying. I can just see a blue checkmark buddy of mine breaking into a cold sweat, all to keep his precious blue check!"

At publishing time, reports from East Africa indicated that planes piloted by Jeff Bezos were dropping off electric Ford F-150s to provide relief to bewildered populations. Apparently, they thought they were just getting a delivery, but surprise! Now they’re part of the Tesla sales funnel.