Doomsday Prepper Thrives Through Month-Long Electric Outage

VANCOUVER, WA — Local doomsday prepper Nate Tilly triumphed over a grueling month-long partial electric outage caused by falling tree branches, emerging unscathed and ready to share his wisdom.

"This is why you need to be prepared," Tilly declared on Friday from his cozy, now-warm home. "If you don’t have an emergency generator to power your fridge, freezer, and a few lights, it’s time to take the end of the world a bit more seriously!"

"This is exactly why I have a bunker filled with bottled water in my backyard, folks," he continued from his well-lit dining room, a bottle of freshly opened filtered water beside him. "You never know when the apocalypse will come knocking. It might arrive on cat's feet, I can tell you that! People think they have it all figured out in their cushy, light-filled lives, but they’re in for a rude awakening if the trucks stop rolling."

Tilly then demonstrated his electrical prowess for the camera, reenacting the fateful moment a month ago when Washington state declared a state of emergency due to excessive snow. With flair, he turned the light in his living room on and off. "This is the moment that changed my life," he exclaimed. "You never know when the skies will darken or when Twitter might vanish. That's why we must all stay vigilant and prepared!"

Despite a nearby transformer blowing and plunging the rest of the neighborhood into darkness, Tilly’s living room outlet miraculously remained powered.

At publishing time, he and a band of fellow preppers bravely navigated the perilous grocery store aisles, engaged in a life-or-death mission to hoard wild milk. "When the going gets tough, no one knows how to stockpile milk better than us!" he said, grinning triumphantly.