DOJ Imagines Fantastical Alternate Reality Where Conservatives Have $9 Million In Funding

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Justice Department has attempted to recruit an army of creatives after publishing a new indictment that imagines a fantastical alternate reality where conservative commentators have access to $9 million in funding.

The department's case, which offers unrealistic fictional accounts of influential media network "Tenet" being funded by Russia, inspired creatives from everywhere to get involved with such brilliant fiction.

"Pure genius! The DOJ shines bright like a blazing sun atop the entire literary world with such skillfully-crafted fantasy," said one renowned author. "A story about conservatives having five followers let alone $9 million in funding could only come from the most imaginative authors."

Chief DOJ writer Alan Kohler said the idea came from a real-world network called "Tenet," which is actually just a few guys in a garage using equipment they found in a dumpster behind a used video equipment store. "What if Tenet commentators like Lauren Southern and Tim Pool could afford more than one T-shirt?" Kohler had imagined. And so his team built an entire world from there.

"I just couldn't get enough," said fantasy novelist Brandon Sanderson. "The creation of an alternate universe in which people experience diverse viewpoints is the type of escapism people are looking for in these dark times."

Though the DOJ indictment leaves open the possibility of a sequel, other expert authors in the genre are skeptical such a far-fetched fantasy could be sustainable. "Sooner or later readers would have to suspend disbelief about part of the government not being controlled by leftists," explained one expert.

At publishing time, the Justice Department had announced the winning entry of their Magnificent Story of Make-Believe contest, which told of a strange fairy tale world wherein the president's son faced consequences for breaking the law.