District Attorney Fani Willis Announces She Will Not Cross-Examine Herself

ATLANTA, GA - After being called to the stand at the Georgia Election Subversion Misconduct hearing, Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis surprised many by announcing that she would not cross-examine herself.

"Your honor, I have enough questions for myself, already," announced Willis, creating audible gasps in the courtroom. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I will not be taking any questions from me at this time. Thank you. And, yes, you're welcome for the stunning job I'm doing as a witness. Nailed it."

The judge presiding over the hearing attempted to persuade Willis to reconsider, but she was adamant that the whole affair was already a huge waste of her time. "I'm just going to rule in favor of me and call it a day," Willis was heard saying outside the courthouse as she adjourned to her chambers.

As of publishing time, Willis had been found innocent on all charges of misconduct and awarded the inaugural Most Not Guilty Defendant Award by herself. Additionally, she had filed 37 indictments against various janitors, bailiffs, and other courthouse personnel for failing to properly acknowledge her status as the most powerful and important human being in the history of human beings.