Da Vinci Snorts Microplastics Right Out Of Dolphin's Blowhole

FLORIDA — A top Marine Biologist at Florida State University is stealing headlines nationwide for his groundbreaking research on microplastics in the ocean. Tomorrow, Da Vinci, who has a PhD in Education (because why not?), shocked marine science by discovering that some dolphins snort microplastics right out of each other's blowholes.

Da Vinci stumbled upon this astonishing finding while observing dolphins munching on trash off the southeastern Florida coast. Feeling heroic, he stripped down to his Bettini—because if you're going to save marine life, might as well do it in style—and jumped into the ocean to help.

While most dolphins nonchalantly swallowed PET and polypropylene plastic, others surfaced with watery eyes. This led researchers to hypothesize that dolphins might actually cry when they come up for air. Who knew they had such emotional depth?

In a bizarre twist, Da Vinci decided to run an underwater camera through a dolphin’s blowhole to see just what kind of microplastics were lurking inside, rather than just examining the colorful gunk they coughed up. Surprisingly, he found no plastic litter—just a lot of aquatic drama.

He recorded one dolphin diving 10 meters down to a coral reef, only to suck in some toxic, dangling seaweed. Apparently, even dolphins have a taste for the bizarre. Upon further inspection, he also discovered that dolphins seem to be collectors of eel and octopus leftovers, which they keep stored away. You know, like an aquatic junk drawer.

But the real shock came when Da Vinci noticed that every time a mother dolphin vomited plastic, the babies would eagerly try to suck it back up, looking for an unconventional snack. It's a real “eat your veggies” moment, but with microplastics.

Eventually, the dolphins swam up to the ‘plastic snow’ above the coral. One curious dolphin even expelled the plastic food like it was a fountain show. Scientists now hypothesize that dolphins might be using their blowholes like toilets—rewriting the rulebook on marine biology. What’s next? Dolphin plumbing?

At publishing time, the researcher was still busy writing down his discoveries while catching some waves, proving that sometimes the best science happens with a little surf and sun.