Couple Who Enjoys Each Other’s Company Makes Terrible Decision To Buy A Food Dehydrator

BENTONVILLE, AR — Experts warn that a couple living in Bentonville, Arkansas has made an irreversible decision that may haunt them forever — purchasing a food dehydrator.

Declarations of a prosperous relationship are swirling around the couple, as they not only share interests and enjoy each other’s company but also have big dreams for their future—at least for now.

"They're such a great couple," said a friend of the couple. "They're just so perfect for each other. I didn't think Sarah could find someone who completes her, but then Evan came along, and I knew she found her soulmate. They’re so happy together — probably one of the happiest couples I’ve ever seen. I can't believe they bought a food dehydrator!"

Sarah and Evan Sanders made the fateful purchase during a recent trip to Costco, lured in by an irresistible cherry-flavored sample. Eyewitness accounts indicate that a completely normal discussion about favorite kitchen appliances was dramatically derailed when Evan suggested they buy a food dehydrator. Sarah enthusiastically agreed, leading to a purchase that is expected to plunge their relationship into chaos.

"For the next six months, their marriage will be incredible," the friend predicted. "They'll be whipping up beef jerky, apple chips, fruit leather—you name it! But once they realize they don’t actually want a food dehydrator, they won't be able to make eye contact for months."

At publishing time, the marketing team at Ninja was frantically brainstorming ways to encourage couples to buy multiple counter appliances, aiming for relationship drama and inevitable breakups.