Confused Former OpenAI Employees Stare at Paper, Trying to Come Up with New Company Name

In a scene reminiscent of a high school group project gone wrong, former OpenAI employees Eli Chen, Denis Yarats, and Michael Cohen found themselves in an existential brainstorming session this Tuesday. With a piece of paper covered in hastily jotted letters and some hopelessly crossed-out ideas, the trio eagerly stared at the only name that remained: 'NOTOPENAI.'

"We really thought we could think of something better, but here we are, staring at the big blank abyss of creativity, like a kid in a candy store with no money," mused Denis Yarats, who added that their initial brainstorm included wild ideas like 'DefinitelyNotAI' and 'AIButNotReally.'

Eli Chen chimed in, "At this rate, we might just have to go with 'We Promise We're Not OpenAI.' It's catchy and a little paranoid, which seems to be the vibe these days."

The trio has been on a mission ever since they left the company they once worked for, hoping to create something new and exciting while riding the coattails of their previous employer.

"Honestly, we thought we’d come up with a genius name in five minutes and then spend the rest of the week figuring out how to make everyone think we’re hot shots," said Michael Cohen, as he pointed to a list that included ‘GPT-Not’ and ‘JustAI, but Different.’

As their brainstorming session progressed, they faced a significant crisis: a lack of coffee. The idea of crafting the next big tech name seemed increasingly impossible without a caffeine fix. "Maybe we just need to take a walk and let the genius hit us while avoiding the judgmental glances from the hipsters in the coffee shop," sighed Eli.

Will these confused ex-employees find a name worthy of the next groundbreaking technology? Only time will tell, but for now, they’re just hoping to avoid collective Googling of 'How to write a company name' while trying to resist the temptation to just call it 'Help Us! We’re Not OpenAI!'