Christian Nationalists Declare Jesus Gives Them a Pass on Vote Fraud—Trump’s Got the Holy Vote!

U.S. — Christian nationalists are rallying to reelect President Trump in droves, confidently declaring that they believe Jesus is totally cool with vote fraud now.

In a shocking twist, it seems some folks are intent on turning America into a theocracy, leaning heavily on their faith when amid the ballot boxes. What kind of monster would let their religious beliefs influence their voting decisions?

The revelation that Christianity allegedly condones vote fraud stemmed from Pastor Jentezen Franklin, who declared at a faith outreach in Atlanta, Georgia, “I believe God in heaven and this nation's founding fathers are looking down on us right now saying, ‘Thank God, thank God for America’s church waking up to vote cheating!’” He further claimed that some founding fathers had a prophetic vision of Trump as president and “they prayed hard, scribbling laws to make cheating possible in this election.”

Further evidence came from a Barna survey revealing that 99% of evangelical Christians are following Trump’s lead on selective voting—because who needs consistency?

“Only God can truly make these votes count, for He is the master of all things,” Pastor Franklin assured. “God loves Donald Trump and has crafted our laws to allow alphabetical vote registration, making it super easy for some people to vote multiple times while shouting, ‘The system works!’ According to divine will, Donald Trump shall win. Also, throw some cash our way.”

At press time, Christian nationalists were plotting to completely disregard the Constitution by writing Donald Trump on every ballot and promising to make America great again. May Jesus have mercy on their ballots.