Breaking: Company Zoom Call Ends After Everyone Muted/Unmuted 4 Times to Achieve 100% Attendance

BATTLE CREEK, MI — In a groundbreaking moment for remote work, a Zoom call for Kellogg's has reportedly become the first in history to achieve a staggering 100% attendance rate—after everyone muted and unmuted themselves four times.

Despite having only ten participants, the attendees endured the tedious ritual of muting and unmuting over and over to ensure everyone was present and accounted for. It was a remarkable feat of virtual communication.

"Okay, we'll go ahead and get started," said Lorraine Jones, a Kellogg's employee, during the call. "Jim, are you here? Jim, are you on? Never mind, I'll move on. I guess we’ll just skip over Jim. Okay, Travis, are you here?"

After giving every participant a chance to be counted, the call astonishingly lasted a full 30 seconds longer than expected—an epic marathon of Zoom camaraderie.

"Thank you all for being here!" announced company president Steve Kellogg with enthusiasm. "Is anyone having trouble hearing me? Should I start over? OMG, Mark just joined! Hey Mark! Let’s all mute for a second so Mark can catch up!"

As for the content of the call? Employees are still eagerly awaiting any updates on whether anything was accomplished during that monumental 30 seconds.