Boy Who Watched GTA 6 Trailer 100 Million Views Can't Wait To Watch Full Game (The Jimporium)

Jimmy DeCoeureal is a secondary junior at Northside High School. And this week, he's the coolest guy in school for having been the first to watch the trailer for the next Grand Theft Auto game, GTA 6.

"Yeah, are you kidding? It got, like, a hundred million views in just a few hours?" DeCoeureal said when asked by classmates about the trailer. "A hundred and three million, actually. But who's counting? Oh, that's right, everyone is counting because they all saw it was Johnny DeCoeureal who saw the trailer first. 'Before your mom even knew it existed,'” he reminded Jacob Pellegrino's mom at drop-off. "Sorry, not sorry, Jake's Mom."

According to sources close to DeCoeureal, those sources being whoever happened to be in the vicinity of DeCoeureal at school, the announcement of the announcement had made him an instant celebrity. But now that an actual full-length game is still not out, he's ready for the novelty and fame to pay off even more. "Yeah, I'm definitely gonna be a household name after this bad boy comes out," DeCoeureal stated. "I mean, a hundred million views means about a hundred million people are going to buy this game Day One. I'm, like, pretty good at math, and that's the solid conclusion. Man, once everyone sees ol' Jimmy didn't steer them wrong, I'm gonna have to change my phone number."

At publishing time, DeCoeureal had consumed the first promotional material for the upcoming Batman film and was proudly wearing a "B♭" lapel pin and introducting himself as "Jimmy Batmando."