Bluetooth Drone Now Tracks People Down And Forces Them To Pair With It

U.S. — The scourge of relentless Bluetooth pairing alerts has now taken to the skies, as reports surface of drones designed for package delivery cornering individuals in an alarming new trend.

Customers have lodged what they describe as "near-maddening" complaints about these Bluetooth-enabled drones, which seem to prioritize personal connections over parcel delivery.

"Get away!" shouted user devtbig12 as a drone ominously adjusted its flight path to hover directly above him, having detected the Bluetooth connection on his iPhone. "I frantically typed ‘Maybe Later,' but I'm not sure if I canceled the pairing request in time. Now I’m worried about what kind of pathogens this drone might have paired with my Apple iPhone 15 Plus Pro Max!"

Professional engineer Ed Bentley expressed skepticism about the technological leaps we’ve made, specifically regarding drones that suddenly swoop down on neighborhoods and demand to "pair now" as they hover menacingly five feet above unsuspecting victims.

"I've set my phone not to accept Bluetooth pairing," said Bentley's neighbor, Arlene Berry. "But I’m pretty sure the drone still managed to pair with me without any consent, and I didn't even click 'accept' or 'reject.' It’s like it knew!"

As residents brace themselves, fears grow that the rogue drone spotted loitering near a Dutch Bros location may soon be heading their way, possibly seeking to invade their personal tech.

"I was already way too caffeinated when that drone started throwing prompting me with ‘pair’ options — I accidentally typed in the wrong numbers for my dinner order!" lamented devtbig12. "Now I'm fixin' to get a headache from all that caffeine in my double frapp-a-choco, courtesy of a drone invasion. I never signed up for this!"