Bitcoin Creator Frustrated That Everyone Knows It Was Ron Paul

LAKE JACKSON, TX — In a stunning reveal that shocked absolutely no one, Ron Paul—the man behind Bitcoin—voiced his frustration to reporters regarding the fact that everyone seems to know it was him.

"You know, it wouldn’t be so annoying if people would at least capitalize 'Bitcoin.' I gave it a big 'B' for a reason!" the outspoken creator grumbled.

Dr. Paul, a liberty-loving Libertarian residing in a so-called ‘socialist’ state that once burned its own money for kicks, reportedly came up with the idea for the revolutionary digital currency while zoning out during Congressional sessions.

"Picture this: I'm sitting there, bored out of my mind listening to these socialist Republicans drone on, and I just thought, 'Hey, why not create a digital currency on my laptop for fun?' Now, everywhere I go, people can't stop bringing it up!" he lamented. "And don’t even get me started on the number of awful libertarian books people keep trying to sell me! I mean, I get it—we're meant for... uh, something, right?"

At publishing time, Dr. Paul was last seen reluctantly purchasing his fourth copy of his own book, The Revolution: A Manifesto, muttering something about how he might as well profit from his own genius.