Biden Tells Shein Worker She Should Be Grateful for Her Wages

BEIJING — President Joe Biden visited a Guangzhou Shein fulfillment center during his state visit with Xi Jinping this week, telling a worker there she should be grateful for her wages.

"You used to be lucky to get five or ten cents for a day's work, just enough for a quarter loaf of pumpernickel bread! But look at us now!" Biden exclaimed to a worker meticulously refolding a bin of the already-folded Shein Basic Wide Waistband Modal Blend Boyshort Panty, 3 Pack — Black / L. "You’re raking in the yuan! Eugene Debs would shed tears of joy if he could see how far we’ve come since I implemented the New Deal in 1979!"

The warehouse worker expressed her desire to earn more than the 50 yuan she currently makes. In response, Biden offered some unconventional wisdom.

"That girl could come home, be a mom, chop up some cabbage, and boil a beak from a goose she hunted down on Maple Street, throw in some boiled wheat flakes, and call it a feast for the whole day — but she had that American spirit, worked hard all day long!" he said. "And that was just last week! We've come a long way, sweetie, and don't let those dastardly Republicans tell you otherwise! Go fish out your ration card, grab your sugar, flour, beans, and those eggs after making those poor hens vacate their control chambers. They work harder than we do! Have yourself a sip of some Matlock Cream Soda and thank your lucky stars you live in the United States of America!"

Biden then fell asleep amidst the hustle of the warehouse, prompting the closing bells to ring, allowing workers to head home. At publishing time, Biden was seen wrapping up his visit by encouraging Foxconn workers to express their gratitude as well.