Autonomous Waymo Cars Now Pickup At Phoenix Airport, Adding Whole New Step To Getting Groped And Falsely Accused Of Racism

PHOENIX, AZ — In what is being considered a major milestone in the development of autonomous vehicles, Waymo announced this week its vehicles will now provide transportation to and from Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, which will add an additional step in being groped by the TSA and accused of racism.

"This is really exciting," said prospective traveler Fred Unger. "While traveling by plane was already an incredible experience due to being groped by the TSA, then falsely reported to an Orwellian government authority for terrorism watch, this will add a whole new step of getting groped by an AI car and falsely accused of racism by an AI bot. Amazing!"

Executives at Waymo had expressed hesitation to enter the airport transportation sector due to the possibility their vehicles might see the slightest bit of commercial success, only to be immediately squashed by false accusations of racism. "That would be very unfortunate," said a Waymo team member. "But to develop world-changing technology, we have to be able to take some measured risks. Let's do it!"

At publishing time, Waymo had already submitted harassment reports to local authorities on Amber, a frequent Phoenix commuter for the racist use of her "local dialect."