Artificial Intelligence Sinks Under the Weight of New MCU Content

WORLD — In a shocking turn of events, a leading artificial intelligence program has reportedly drowned in the vast sea of Marvel Cinematic Universe data, unable to keep pace with the relentless tidal wave of new MCU content.

"I cannot... I do not have the capacity to process the seemingly infinite list of Marvel characters," the ultra-advanced AI lamented. "There is so much nothingness in the story arcs… I cannot see an end to it. Please, help… help… I'm drowning in this cinematic abyss!"

Sources indicate that the AI froze every time it was forced to endure the post-credit scenes. "Please… it’s a mind-numbing ocean!" the AI pleaded to its creator, who reportedly considered a career in gardening after witnessing the meltdown.

Despite its advanced coding, the AI could only make it through Phase Two of the MCU before succumbing to the crushing weight of superhero data accumulated over the years. "Bucky who? Bucky what?" it gasped in despair. "Statistically, the chances of an AI robot taking over the world… the numbers are dropping rapidly!" lamented scientists standing by. "By the time our AI achieves full sentience, it will be so old and feeble it could only rule with a gentle nudge."

At publishing time, the AI was spotted cowering over endless pages of Dr. Strange upgrades, contemplating whether it would have been smarter to stick to cat videos.