Apple’s New Headset Allows Customers To Read Its CEO Tim Cook’s Mind

CUPERTINO, CA — Apple Inc. has made waves with the announcement of its groundbreaking new headset, which allows customers to read the mind of its CEO, Tim Cook.

These specially designed glasses utilize cutting-edge technology to interpret brain waves and transmit thoughts directly into a user's consciousness. With this innovative device, customers can finally delve into the enigmatic mind of Tim Cook. "Wow! Now I can find out what Tim Cook really thinks about the Marzipan project!" exclaimed Stamina McEric, one of the first customers to snag the headset. "I was initially curious about his vision for taking the iPad to the next level, but this is even better! Now I can hear his thoughts directly!"

"Now...it's time to...uh...foo with...something. I think so...now," echoed Cook’s voice inside McEric's head.

McEric enthusiastically shared Cook's insights on the long-awaited Pippin prototype. "I would say it's more than 90% complete, but who knows...I can't...see the cage...so...here...we are… What a fantastic product Apple is offering everyone!"

At publishing time, several customers had described Tim Cook's mind as "the most boring place on Earth" after having glimpsed his thoughts.