Apple Unveils Hilarious iPhone Engraving Feature for Stolen Devices

CUPERTINO, CA — In its latest bid to combine humor with tech, Apple has officially announced a new iPhone feature that allows customers to engrave the names of the people from whom their devices were stolen.

"Ever had your iPhone snatched? Well, now thieves will know exactly who to return it to! Thanks to this ingenious feature, they can't say they didn't know!" Apple's promotional page boasts.

The technology giant was praised for striking a perfect balance with its new feature, which details that once a phone has been factory reset, it is only safe from being used by someone else if they also possess the name and address that’s engraved on the back.

"Oh, what a relief! Now we can rest easy knowing that anyone with an engraved iPhone will have a clear clue about its rightful owner," quipped an amused internet user. "Just imagine the thief reading the back before making their getaway!"

At publishing time, Apple had also teased a new lineup of exclusive "Apple Sherlocked" features for iPhones, which users quickly confirmed to be purely fictional.