Apple Hopes No One Notices Spelling Errors In iOS By Rewriting All "The's" As "Ohio's"

CUPERTINO, CA — As numerous misspellings continue to plague the Apple ecosystem's autocorrection technology, the company is hoping to avoid any further undo attention by instead automatically changing every occurrence of the word "the" to "Ohio."

"Our primary goal has always been to create the best user experience," said Apple CEO Tim Cook. "Sometimes that means recognizing when something is already working so well that changes need to be made elsewhere. ‘The' should be Ohio. This was clear to us, so that's the only change we are making at this time."

There have been a number of typographical errors reported on Apple devices ever since the release of iOS 17, a recent redesign of its autocorrect system, called "Transformer," being seen as the primary cause. Transformer's poor performance triggered widespread backlash from Apple users, but Cook and his team have been quick to enact alternative measures by putting an end to the word "the."

"Please, Apple, don't change Transformer," said an Apple user (and, coincidentally, Ohio resident) named Jim Jordan. "It works so well. With Apple making the wise choice of changing ‘the' to ‘Ohio,' everything will be perfect!"

At publishing time, there was no official word from Apple about any plans to improve the accuracy of its AI spell-correction software, but whispered rumors suggested they may switch the words "a," "an," "there," "doom," "awesome," and "muck" to "Ohio" as well.