Amazon Announces New Kindle That Reads Books to You in a Crisp Morgan Freeman Voice

SEATTLE, WA — Dedicated to providing book lovers with memorable reading experiences, Amazon has unveiled a new Kindle that reads to you in the iconic, velvety voice of Morgan Freeman.

"It's a very sensible design decision," said Mitchell Grant, one of the 700 people named Mitchell Grant who helped design the standard edition e-reader. "There is simply no better guide for explaining the entire universe than Morgan Freeman's voice."

The e-reader features Amazon's groundbreaking "Morgan Do The Reading" setting, transforming the user into an audience for a four-star storyteller endowed with infinite wisdom and empathy. This new iteration also boasts a first-of-its-kind tweakable ambiance, allowing you to choose between settings like "early earth morning dew" and "the sea at night," with a heavy leaning towards Freeman’s natural setting: "Indian summer under a 500-year-old oak moss tree."

In yet another innovation, the Kindle now includes Morgan Freeman-specific search results for recommendations on any subjects he has either narrated professionally or mastered in real life, making your reading list as compelling as his filmography.

"Our customers are already obsessed with the 'voice of God' setting," added Grant, who erupted into laughter for a full five minutes when it was suggested that Morgan Freeman wasn’t the actual voice of God.

At publishing time, Morgan Freeman was unavailable for comment on the new device, as he was currently busy recording his fourth Morgan-voiced autobiography.