All Americans Incredibly Excited About Upcoming iPhone 15 Battery Life Test Results

U.S. citizens across the nation have expressed tremendous excitement about the upcoming battery life test results for the new iPhone 15, sources confirmed today.

"I just can't wait to see how the new iPhone's battery holds up under real-world conditions," said 43-year-old local man Derek Palmer. "Is it going to make it a full day before needing a charge? Two hours? I'm on the edge of my seat!"

Battery life tests for new iPhones have become an annual tradition, with millions tuning in to watch the results drop progressively lower in real time as the testers plug the phones into the wall for a charge after just a few days. Battery life tests illustrate how well the iPhone handles being continually connected to 5G, having multiple apps open, getting notifications for every single piece of junk mail, and being used by a droves of consumers for a week or two before the battery is permanently swollen and the casing starts to come apart.

"I'm a diehard Android user, but even I can't wait to see how the new iPhone's battery holds up," said annoyed neighbor Dave Smith. "I'm betting it will conk out after a week. My Galaxy S21 has gone a solid 3 weeks without charging, and it's still going strong. Though I will say, the battery is starting to smell funny and bulge a little, but other than that, it's perfect."

At publishing time, excitement had reached a fever pitch as millions anticipated watching the first few moments of an iPhone 15 battery life test before the phone was unplugged and the testing host announced, "This was brought to you by Repairify."